why cant i?

i always fail. it makes me sad every time my classmates pass. this is quite discouraging. :( what should i do? feeling ko nagawa ko na ang lahat. i'm really insecured to my classmates having their high grades but still asks and complains, while i'm drowning my self to regret. i believe that regret is a waste of time pero kapag nandoon kana sa situation, you'll never know.

kapag nagtatnong kasi ako feeling ko mapapahiya ako, because there was this incident na i asked a question tapos it was so easy for my other classmates. they laughed at me, since that day happened i never ask serious questions. and if i dont understand anything, i will just have to sleep.

my seat mates are far more than what i know in math, they're really good. and i bow down to that but why cant i do the same? we are just in the same row. one thing that makes me so bitter is that im depressingly ignoring that i'm sitting in front but still don't understand anything. funny isnt it? but not for the person involve. me.

and the discouraging of all discouraging things, is that when maam told mark james to hurry checking my paper, because mark was moving like a snail back then so he wasn't able to give it on time. so, maam told mark "dalian mo na parang may binibilang ka" so it came to me na even my techer is under estimating my capacity. but she was never wrong, i thought I'd pass that test. i was very ready when i took that test but something happened. i got !! on my periodic test. i cried but no body saw it because i wanted them to see me as a person who is not afraid of failing. i guess people are right about me, im not good at math and i will never be good at it.