why cant i?

i always fail. it makes me sad every time my classmates pass. this is quite discouraging. :( what should i do? feeling ko nagawa ko na ang lahat. i'm really insecured to my classmates having their high grades but still asks and complains, while i'm drowning my self to regret. i believe that regret is a waste of time pero kapag nandoon kana sa situation, you'll never know.

kapag nagtatnong kasi ako feeling ko mapapahiya ako, because there was this incident na i asked a question tapos it was so easy for my other classmates. they laughed at me, since that day happened i never ask serious questions. and if i dont understand anything, i will just have to sleep.

my seat mates are far more than what i know in math, they're really good. and i bow down to that but why cant i do the same? we are just in the same row. one thing that makes me so bitter is that im depressingly ignoring that i'm sitting in front but still don't understand anything. funny isnt it? but not for the person involve. me.

and the discouraging of all discouraging things, is that when maam told mark james to hurry checking my paper, because mark was moving like a snail back then so he wasn't able to give it on time. so, maam told mark "dalian mo na parang may binibilang ka" so it came to me na even my techer is under estimating my capacity. but she was never wrong, i thought I'd pass that test. i was very ready when i took that test but something happened. i got !! on my periodic test. i cried but no body saw it because i wanted them to see me as a person who is not afraid of failing. i guess people are right about me, im not good at math and i will never be good at it.

memorabilias

we were having our first Friday mass and God generously showered Andrea a miraculous power of STUDYING. everyone in II Pauling witnessed it and was barbarically amazed. haha i studied though the test is finished. this was because, ma'am gallardo told me that i failed. too bad so sad but it made me a brave man trying to fight. so your question is did i win? well hopefully.. sana talaga.. hahah.. this was really memorable though it was filled with anger and hatred i never fell into my knees. unlike others. see the picture, I'm doing my math time, i know it's too late but i might use it in the future and might be one of the great someone. i never liked anyone pushing me to be somebody or forcing me to do something pero cant blame them, nagustuhan ko din afterwards mga ginagawa nila. oh db this was the great change to my attitude. this was very memorable indeed because everybody was staring at me, i wished ma'am gallardo was there and have seen me doing stuff that she likes the most.

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another memorable day was when i first passed my test, this wasn't just a passed, this was overwhelming passed, as i call it. whoosh, i got 16 points. whoa,.. I'm so happy. i couldn't find a way to stop my tears.:P but unfortunately... this will not help.. i will still have my bad grades.:(



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i liked maam during our Xmas party it was like an algebra class. each one of us were happy for having our teacher with us.:P this was the first time we Pauling had fun with our adviser, because it's either she's yelling at us, submission of cards or teaching lesson. but still, amazingly and amusingly joyful for our Xmas event.

aba aba ganito pla etech

0/0 or undeterminate --- fascinating isn't it. not everyone knows about this thing. i even have my notes for this lesson.

laws of exponents and factoring was one of the best topic i ever had. but sometimes i don't get the grades that I'm expecting. haha.. i know the lesson but i guess i lack practice.

my favorite time of IA is Wednesday time. i can practice or rest before i go to IA, for a quiz or seat work.

i know this my sound weird but, June 9, 2006, i have learned something bout the cartesean plane, this was developed by Rene de cart, i have also learned stuff such as +y and +x, their axis, x-abscissa and y-ordinato, the origin where they intersect. I,II,III and IV quadrants going counter clock wise.

special products was quite difficult, but then i tried to figure things out, by asking for others help.

i knew that in problem solving if these words are seen:

added
increase
sum
plus
more than
total these are all addition


and if:

difference
diminish
decrease
minus
less these are all subtraction


the intecept method was easy enough to be understood by ME:D

y intercept is when the value of x=0
x intercept is when the value of y=0

whahaha. so who would've forgotten the greek word mountaire. which means slope.

yun lang ung naalala ko. and pag posstive yung slope the line is diagonal to right.
pag negative digonal sa left.:X

they may think that i don't study, but they can never tell that i don't learn something.

i told you i have learned many stuff. pero hindi ko lang maapply. well it's obvious with my scores.

will this just be a wish?

hey, i want you to see me under the shades of the mango tree, wear your bests clothes and your finest slippers, please make your hair done and be extravagant in looking very special. a pearl earrings will emphasize the beauty of your rounded face. please come and feel free to be called my everything. -your love

**she went to the tree beside the meeting place, looking awfully retarted, did not even had a warm bath and smells like a garbage who looks exactly like a streetsweeper with a trashcan on the head. the hair was as dry as the wheats and fibers with dirts tangled with other strands of hair. she was a jerk that evening.


this was applied to my expectations.

everytime i go to our i.a room there's always this determination. pero, everytime i'm being embarassed to bunch of classmtes, parang nawawalan nako ng gana. i'm lacking self esteem, though our teacher offered us for free tutorial, i still dint know why i'm still so afraid to her. she's not terror neither light to us. she is not scary but she is failing us. i thought she'd pass me and the others for our efforts. but im losing my hope, i think she will never do it. but on the other side, even if i'm such a bad student im liking her, just after her mother died and never estimated her capacity of teaching. i even listened more. then everyone tells me, wow dhea bago yan ha. first impression never last, per second impression isn't always right. haha.

it's quite a disgrace

though i convey things of my own, not all people understand it nor try to hear about it. i don't know what is wrong with me, all the test questions in algebra are right but my answers are wrong. that's how it jump started my culture shock to math world.i liked math, I'm really good at it. not when algebra was born. however, there is this perseverance in my heart that really tells me to go for the goal and strive harder, though i have already done the hardest. math was always in front of me, but the time to spend with math was like running away and making it very difficult for me. people encourage other people in order for them to survive, but it seem that i have over estimated everyone around me, i thought they'd help me, but even if they wanted to, they can't, it's my life so it's my problem. Math is something you do with your self alone, it has nothing to do with your classmate's notebook nor your seat mate's test paper, this is where you prepare yourself to go independent. i am very compassionate and obedient enough for my algebra subject, i thought i gave it all, i thought I've been a gimper. i paused for a while and think, "am i doing this because i want to please everyone with my blog and my journal, i haven't even done my homework in i.a. yet." these things where one of the simple thoughts that always pops into my mind. setting aside all those math things and algebra stuff, have you ever asked yourself? are you getting credits of all the things you do for math subject? i know the root of education is bitter but the fruit is sweet, but this doesn't tell us to be tortured and give a heavy vacuum attached to our brain and have it drained after class. i sleep like 4 hours a day but still no points for efforts. i have no complain for my grades i deserve it and know it for sure, but there is no reason for me not to say what i ave in mind since this is a journal by which we tell everything about everything.